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Found the cure for Blue Balls

Retired Chippendale dancer. I am living the life I was born to live. I strongly abide by the motto, “Safety Third.” Every time I go for a swim, dolphins appear. I chase vodka with high fives. I am lover not a fighter, but I’m a fighter too so don’t get any ideas. I have never lost a sock. I once climbed Mount Everest, Mount Kilimanjaro, and K-2 using only one bottle of oxygen and a sack of trail mix. I wouldn’t kick you out of bed, unless you wanted to cuddle on the floor. I don’t care how bad ass you are, if a toddler hands you a toy phone, you always answer it.

Please stop with the personal lap dance requests. I only do Bachelorette parties, birthdays (the one where I jump out of the cake with nothing but a banana hammock on), female only office parties, Avon parties, Halloween parties, Christmas parties, Tupperware parties, tea parties, and female sex toy parties.

*Disclaimer: not for everyone. Clinical tests show that he may cause nausea, fatigue, spontaneous fits of joy, and kidney or liver problems. Ask your doctor if he is right for you.

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Appearance

EthnicityMixed Race
BuildBodybuilder
Height6' 0" (183 cm)
Eye ColorHazel
Hair ColorBrown
Best featureArms
Body ArtVisible tattoo
Health ConditionNo problems
My AttractivenessVery attractive

Situation

Relationship StatusSingle
Has childrenNo children
Wants kidsNot sure
Wants to RelocateNo
Have PetsDog
Has a carYes

Education & Employment

EducationUniversity Masters
Employment StatusStudent